Life with Dima

When we signed up for an international adoption we were required to do a certain amount of education with regards to the potential issues children from less than optimum backgrounds often posses.  We were personally most concerned about the issues surrounding institutionalized children.  Dima has been in an orphanage his whole life.   We know nothing about what it was like for him as an infant.  Was he held much?  Did someone talk to him frequently?  Was he rocked to sleep?  Held while fed a bottle?  Did he often have the same caretaker?  All these things were critical for his development.  It helps or hurts his ability to be able to recognize Willem and I as his Dad and Mom.  Will he develop a healthy attachment to us?
Having read about this over and over has been both a blessing and curse.  Knowing the signs of attachment issues helped us be able to feel comfortable with moving forward with Dima after only spending a few hours with him.  Now though,  I find myself stressing and always thinking about attachment.  I'm continually looking for good signs, bad signs any signs....  It's exhausting.  
Seeing my exhaustion my sweet husband demanded I have the day off on Saturday.  He declared Daddy Day Care and spent the weekend bonding with his boys.  He had them play in the rain, jump in the mud, explore our property, throw rocks in the ditches, play with sticks.  Willem knows the issues but admittedly I did the research and heavy studying.  Willem doesn't let it keep him from pushing Dima to try new things and as a result Dima's personality has begun to blossom.  Watching him with the boys made life feel normal again.  It made me realize I need to just let it be.  God chose Dima for us and whatever crops up from his past...God will give us the strength and wisdom to overcome it.  


 

Ironically after this surrender of my worrying and analyzing Dima started sleeping better, eating better, having shorter less frequent meltdowns.  He is more relaxed and so are we.  More and more I see him as any other kid instead of the damaged child all the books talk about.  He is so strong, so brave and I think he'll be that kid that turns lemons into lemonade.  Right now he is melting our hearts with his sweet funny personality and amazing us with his adaptability.

 

By the way: As you can see we got rid of the Euro Mullet! YAY! American haircut and American clothes go a long way.  I think he looks like my kiddos now where I never saw that resemblance before. 

 

English words this week: open, closed, car, cat, frog, horse, dog, fish, up, Dima's turn :) and his first albeit incorrect sentence "I nyet need to pee"