Happy Weekend

 Most parents of internationally adopted children say things turn around at 6 weeks.  I'm not sure if that is 6 weeks home or 6 weeks in our arms.  In any event Dima has been under our care for 6 weeks today.  I don't know if it's just been wishful thinking but I feel like he is so much more comfortable home now and so happy!  This past weekend has been by far his best.
Friday we took the kids to the pumpkin patch for pictures.  They did great and Dima has learned the word "pumpkin" and definately knows how to pose for a picture complete with his saying "CHEESE".  Below are a couple shots.

Saturday our good friends the Burns came over with their kids.  We had dinner, the kids ran around outside till after dark and everyone got along.  Dima acted appropriately with them not expecting them to take care of him but always came to "Momma" and "Pappa".  A good sign of attachment i'm told.  Brian had a great way of teaching him some english.  Saying "Da" or yes in Russian is addictive and Brian got him to start using "Yes"...he's still doing it and i find myself saying "Da" out of habit so that's tells me he's really trying.  Lots of giggles below...he's like the most ticklish kid i've ever met...

Sure he still has an occasional tantrum but we're not overly worried about it.  We deal with it and he moves on and honestly after he comes out of it he seems even more loving.  It seems like as he becomes more comfortable with us he feels like he can push us a little bit more.  I think he pushes we push back, he sees that we love him no matter what his behavior and in the end he loves us more.
There are more random "I love you"s and more moments where he just wants a cuddle.
I'll leave you with this last video so you can see the twinkle in his eyes for yourself...

1 Month in Our Arms

We picked him up a month ago today!  When I heard this song I knew we'd use it for a video about Dima one day.  Hope you like it!

Little Victories

It's amazing how a couple of days can change things.  On Friday I was at my wits end... Saturday wasn't any better.  Dima had been testing me at every turn and Derek was a whiny mess.  One was either trying to steal something from the other or telling me "no" in either English or Russian.  It was exhausting, stressful and I had had enough.  Usually on Fridays Willem and I go out with friends or on a date so staying home with non cooperative kids for the third Friday in a row was hard to swallow and I began to feel like this would never end.
Willem decided to take over and had to get stern with the boys and I guess it did a world of good.   Either that or my parents were praying overtime (we went over to their house for a bit and were horrible grumpy guests).
On Sunday Dima woke up happy.  He had slept without complaint and without waking up scared.  In fact we woke up and heard the boys. The both of them had gotten up on their own and we caught them heading downstairs by themselves.  We were shocked as Dima has not gotten out of his bed on his own since we got him.  It is a pretty typical trend for institutionalized kids to be conditioned to stay in their beds regardless of the circumstances.  Happy boy was ready to start playing with only the supervision of his brother.  Since that moment his days have been great.  When he gets grumpy after being told "no" for whatever reason he no longer tries to avoid eye contact but instead looks me in the eye and accepts it.  Naps are easy as are bedtimes.  When I hold him he hugs me back most times and has even started rubbing my back when I carry him around (something I've done to him since we met).  I know we will still have rough days but I feel like he has turned a corner.  It is almost like he has accepted us and realizes we are acting in his best interest even when he's not getting his way. Oh and the best yet...he's started saying "I love you" in Russian to me. :)

Derek has also calmed down.  He has started listening better and playing better with Dima.  In fact this morning he didn't want to go to school but instead wanted to stay and play more with his brother.  Again, not expecting this to always be the case but "Thank you LORD!"  I was beginning to get worried they would always hate each other.
With his new attitude we decided to push our luck and take him to the park and then out to dinner.  He did AMAZING!  Only started to break down once when we misunderstood him and said yes to him playing on something he pointed out only to find out he meant the nearby tractor/backhoe that nearby construction workers had been using!  Whoops!  He took it gracefully and was back on his way. 

It is crazy how just a slight change in attitude can make such a difference in our family.  Fingers crossed we all keep these happy outlooks!

new words: sorry, shoes, milk, cookie, moose, help, slide, brush teeth, one, two, three, four, five, hello, bye and my favorite russenglish phrase "Goodnight Luna"

 

 

Life with Dima

When we signed up for an international adoption we were required to do a certain amount of education with regards to the potential issues children from less than optimum backgrounds often posses.  We were personally most concerned about the issues surrounding institutionalized children.  Dima has been in an orphanage his whole life.   We know nothing about what it was like for him as an infant.  Was he held much?  Did someone talk to him frequently?  Was he rocked to sleep?  Held while fed a bottle?  Did he often have the same caretaker?  All these things were critical for his development.  It helps or hurts his ability to be able to recognize Willem and I as his Dad and Mom.  Will he develop a healthy attachment to us?
Having read about this over and over has been both a blessing and curse.  Knowing the signs of attachment issues helped us be able to feel comfortable with moving forward with Dima after only spending a few hours with him.  Now though,  I find myself stressing and always thinking about attachment.  I'm continually looking for good signs, bad signs any signs....  It's exhausting.  
Seeing my exhaustion my sweet husband demanded I have the day off on Saturday.  He declared Daddy Day Care and spent the weekend bonding with his boys.  He had them play in the rain, jump in the mud, explore our property, throw rocks in the ditches, play with sticks.  Willem knows the issues but admittedly I did the research and heavy studying.  Willem doesn't let it keep him from pushing Dima to try new things and as a result Dima's personality has begun to blossom.  Watching him with the boys made life feel normal again.  It made me realize I need to just let it be.  God chose Dima for us and whatever crops up from his past...God will give us the strength and wisdom to overcome it.  


 

Ironically after this surrender of my worrying and analyzing Dima started sleeping better, eating better, having shorter less frequent meltdowns.  He is more relaxed and so are we.  More and more I see him as any other kid instead of the damaged child all the books talk about.  He is so strong, so brave and I think he'll be that kid that turns lemons into lemonade.  Right now he is melting our hearts with his sweet funny personality and amazing us with his adaptability.

 

By the way: As you can see we got rid of the Euro Mullet! YAY! American haircut and American clothes go a long way.  I think he looks like my kiddos now where I never saw that resemblance before. 

 

English words this week: open, closed, car, cat, frog, horse, dog, fish, up, Dima's turn :) and his first albeit incorrect sentence "I nyet need to pee"