moldova

I'm learning that most adoptions are not without their hurdles to overcome. Ours is no exception. Our first hurdle is named Moldova....

I haven't elaborated on why we chose Moldova as our country of choice. Moldova is a little country nestled between the Ukraine and Romania in Eastern Europe. It was once part of the Soviet Union. With the fall of communism Moldova gained its independence. It was left, however, with very little economic structure and it seams to have never recovered. It currently is the poorest country in Eastern Europe with 80% living below the poverty line.
There is so little work in the country that mothers and fathers are forced to leave the country in a hope to find work elsewhere and send money back to their families. Children are often given up to the state or left with elderly grandparents or neighbors. Sadly parents rarely are able to return leaving the children orphaned. I had the opportunity to visit the Ukraine on a mission trip in 2005. I was able to help out with a summer camp for orphans there in the Ukraine. I fell in love with the kids and was fascinated with the culture. I was also amazed at the effect Communism had on the status of the people today. Moldova is very similar in culture and situation and seemingly easier to adopt from than the Ukraine. Our church also has a strong connection with this small country that many don't even know about. We support a missionary there as well as have mission trips to Moldova every couple of years.

Knowing all this about Moldova made it an easy choice for us as a country to adopt from. We felt a heart tug towards it. It seemed as soon as we made this country choice we came across websites discussing the need in Moldova for adoption or the tragedy of the sex trafficking that goes on there. All of this broke our heart more and made us certain Moldova was the right country, until a month ago....

In February several laws were changed in Moldova regarding adoption. One of those changes pertains to the in country time (the stay in country while you meet your child). Initially it was two trips of 7-10 days which fit in perfect with us. However rumors began circulating that the stay would now be 30 days! Not so good! We stressed and thought that we should change countries at that time. Within the next couple of weeks we were amazed at how God made that obstacle disappear. We met a missionary from Moldova and made quick friends. He runs a missionary training college of sorts in the capital city of Moldova. Over dinner we explained our issues and he eagerly offered up a solution. He offered for us to stay in an apartment at the missionary triaining center with our children for that possible month's stay. He could arrange for us to have Christian caregivers for the kids on days we needed to be at the orphanage. It is a gated college with working plumbing and electricity. He even offered an office for Willem to be able to run his business from Moldova complete with wifi. ISN'T GOD AMAZING!!! The chances of this guy happening to be in Lafayette from Moldova right in the midst of this difficult time for us and for us to hit it off right away....It wasn't chance it was God showing us He was there in the midst.

We decided we'd stick it out with Moldova regardless of the in country stay. However a couple of weeks ago we were told by our agency that adoptions have been put on hold from Moldova. Moldova will not be processing any more until they have re-accredited our agency. (No other agencies are accredited at this point either) They are saying this should happen at the end of summer but it could be longer. We are therefore frustrated and confused.

It has stopped us in our tracks and we have to decide if we are going to wait it out for Moldova, a country we have already grown to love, or switch to another. We feel like God has a son for us out there somewhere and we are so confused as to how to get to him. Does he live in Moldova? Is he maybe not ready for us and we need to wait a while longer? Or is God trying to show us that he does not live in Moldova and we need to switch gears? It's a difficult decision that keeps us up at night.

So friends please pray for us. Pray that we hear God's wisdom. Pray for the kids in Moldova so that adoptions open up again soon so that they may find forever families. And please pray that the path between our son and us starts to come together....

why adopt

We are still here....We are progressing through our home study. Our visits have been completed, our paperwork is almost completely gathered. We now are waiting on our FBI criminal history to arrive in the mail. The next step is to submit a formal request to Citizen Immigration Services to adopt internationally. Some moms have growing bellies...I have a growing binder or paperwork.

Now that summer has arrived I have a little more time to sit down and write so I thought I'd address the questions we get most often about our adoption.

As we have told friends and family about our desire to adopt we often get one of two responses. Excitement or the strange look of why?

The answer to that question is I'm not sure why but I know several thing for certain...

I've always had a desire to adopt. In the early 90s I remember seeing many newsline type shows reporting on the conditions of orphanages in Romania. I will never forget seeing those kids rocking themselves to sleep and banging their heads against their cribs. It totally broke my heart. I remember thinking to myself that I would take one. Of course I wasn't old enough but I knew I could do it. I had always been a babysitter... I have 20 first cousins and I'm older than all but one of those. I was often asked to keep an eye on or babysit all of those at some point in time. I was responsible I could do it....
It got me thinking and I have always looked at children in bad situations and asked myself "Could I love that kid as my own?" and most of the time I concluded that I could. I then began to question this desire I had and wondered why I had it. I began to convince myself that maybe God was preparing me. Maybe I was not able to have children and this was his way of bracing me for it. I even went so far as to warn my husband about this premonition I had. He was fine with adoption and even liked the idea.
Obviously I was able to have children. It was even easy and I still am able to have kids. So, I could have more or I could act on this somewhat unique desire...
Which leads me to my next reason...

God calls us to it.... Not everyone is called to adopt but it clearly says in His word "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress... James 1:27" I know that this doesn't mean we are all to run out and adopt but God has given me the desire and therefore I should. Kids need parents and we want and are blessed enough to be able to provide for another so we should. Let me re emphasize that....God has blessed us as a family beyond measure. He has done so much for us that honestly I feel like I have more to give and this seems like a great way to do it.

We want a big family... Willem and I have always wanted a big family. At this point in my life, I am not that into the whole pregnancy thing. I've been there done that. Same goes for babyhood. We cherished it for our three but we are happy to be done with midnight feedings, bottles and soon to be diapers! We want our kids to have each other, to depend on as they grow older. We want lots of grandkids and big Christmas dinners... Adoption fits the bill and we get the bonus of picking the age and sex of our child...perfect!

So there you go...a little explanation of this journey we are on.....

Hope everyone out there has had a great Memorial Day weekend...

Blog Resurrected and Big News

This is what happens when you have three kids and a house you plan to totally remodel.....A blog that doesn't get updated for two years!

We have done some renovations to the house in the last two years as well as restore a 1974 Airstream. I will post pics and a brief description of those projects in a few days. However, I have no doubt our house reno's will not keep my blogging current. I do have an alterior motive for this blog. We plan to use it to update our friends and family of our upcoming journey...

Drumroll please....

We're Adopting! We've talked about it as long as we've been married but now seemed like the time. Four kids was always our goal. I thought for a while we'd stop at three but I have a feeling now that we are outnumbered one more is not going to be as big a transition. What's one more right? Our goal is to adopt a little boy around the age of 4. We're hoping to fill that gap between Derek (age 2) and Savannah (age 6). Two boys and two girls seems perfect.

A social worker will be here tomorrow morning to start our homestudy and we've decided to do an international adoption. Our country of choice is Moldova. Why Moldova? Well to be completely honest Moldova fits all of our requirements. They have children that are in the age range we are looking for and they have a relatively short in country stay time. Also Moldova allows for us to get a child in less time than some of the other countries. That being said this is still a really long process. We are anticipating it to take about 18 months. I will post more about the process in a few days.

Our kids are psyched and love the idea of being able to pick the age and sex of the child. Instant brother! The girls, especially Maddy, are already figuring out the sports and things they want to teach him. We are trying to not speak about it daily as 18 months for them will seem like an eternity but we too are having a hard time not talking about it.

For Willem and I, we are busy gathering paperwork and figuring out funding. We are very excited. At the same time we have a heavy heart. We really feel like the Lord wants us to do this and therefore he has a little guy out there for us. And, here's the kicker, he's alive...somewhere...in an orphanage being raised by someone who is not us. So if we can ask anything of our friends and family it is that you pray. Pray that our little boy is doing well, thriving where he is and has a sense that his situation is not forever. We're coming!